How to Deal with A Bully

Stop the Bully!

Stop the Bully!

Stop the Bully!

Bullying is common within our society. It occurs at school, at home and in the work place. It is the nasty part of human nature. Bullying is about power. In particular it is about the abuse of power.  Someone in a position of power seeks to control or influence another person.

Why do people bully?
Bullies are unhappy people. They try to influence others and cause others either emotional or physical pain. Why? – because they want others to suffer as much as they are and they want to have the illusion of feeling powerful.  We should feel sorry for bullies, as they are sad and unhappy people with limited capacity to understand human emotion.

What do we do?

We must stand up to the bully and stand firm. No one has power over another individual, unless that individual gives away their power.
It is hard to stand up for yourself and stand firm. You have to be confident and assertive and state your position. Some tips:

  • Think about the issues yourself – writing down your thoughts and feelings can help. You are not going crazy, but you must remain in control of your own emotions.
  • Try to stay positive – bullies can get you down, but try not to let them get to you.
  • Try to ignore the people who harass you – walk away; refuse to engage in conversation with them.  You don’t have to respond to their rude statements or harassment.
  • Be confident and assertive – use “I” statements.  “I don’t like the way you spoke to me”, or “I think your comments are inappropriate”.
  • Stick up for your friends – you are stronger in a group. So always look out for your friends.
  • Find someone to talk to – talk about your issue with a trusted friend or counsellor.

We must learn to deal with bullies – bullies are everywhere! We can’t avoid them, but be ready to learn from each situation. Each time you are bullied, you can learn a way to cope with it or deal with it better.

Feel sorry for the bullies – but whatever you do, don’t turn into a bully yourself!

While you may think that the bully is able to rise to high positions, in the end they are alone and very unhappy people.

Practice kindness and compassion, treat others with respect, and be kind.

Stop the bully, by being assertive, calm and respectful. Don’t let these unhappy people make your life as miserable as theirs!